fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
