my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
