THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize