OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
