If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
