Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
