I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
