I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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