he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
