I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
