there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
