Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
