we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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