she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
