My hand turned me down
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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