that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You need a sexual gate keeper
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
