suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
