I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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