According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My feet surprised me
Randomize
