She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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