dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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