Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
