I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
