You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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