I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
