It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Welp...herpes.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's rum buckets o'clock
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
