ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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