The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is Oprah even human
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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