get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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