I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
