I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
