I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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