I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
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Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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