The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
