I am in a vortex of obligation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
