i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize