i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
