and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
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Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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