my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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