Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
