I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.