You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.