your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me