i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
