You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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