Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
