I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
