IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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