i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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