did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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