Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's blow job season.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
