So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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