my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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