You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize