garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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