the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize